I often wonder…as a parent and as someone with ambition…how much more could I achieve in my career if I didn’t have any children. Turns out…much less.

Every now and then, Sheena’d bring our son to her parents’ for couple of weeks while I relive the single life. I welcome the idea, which ideally means much more time for my personal project, and that was almost never the case. Whenever they are gone, I’d wander around the house doing nothing. I didn’t watch the film I planned to watch, I didn’t play the games I planned to play, and I didn’t sleep earlier as I always wished.

Once my son has gone to his grandparents’, I stopped my morning routines: a healthy breakfast, exercise, readings. Even though I’m making and feeding him breakfast before the nanny comes, I’m listening to audio books during those time, but now I’m doing nothing. Time just flies. The next thing I know, it’s 8pm. If he’s here, I could finally get out of the house and go pick him up at 4pm while listening to audio books while I’m driving. Now that he’s gone, I’m just sitting on the couch using my laptop for whatever is killing my time ever so hastily.

When my son is around, I have to dedicate a lot of time to him, but at the same time, I’m much more productive to make up for those time. When people say they don’t want to have kids because they won’t have enough time for career or personal goals, I know it’s not true anymore. There’s always enough time; I just need to be better at planning my day and exercising my discipline.